


North Stars and Lost Boys

by crybabyhowell



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: M/M, Spaceboy!Dan, space boy dan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-26
Updated: 2017-03-26
Packaged: 2018-10-10 22:19:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10448799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crybabyhowell/pseuds/crybabyhowell
Summary: He liked to seek out all the places that he could find the stars in his own life, night sky not included, most recent being in his love interest. He saw the North Star the most in his counterpart, and he has for as long as he had known the other man. It was as if no matter how fucked up things got for Dan all he had to do was look into the older boys' eyes and suddenly he was home.





	

The sky was dark and empty, without any light or sign of outside life, it made the boy feel blissfully alone. The sky was dark and black, much like the inside of his mind, absent of any clarity of light. He could relate to the night sky so much, even when the stars and constellations desired to show themselves and he no longer felt so alone. That must be why his emotional equilibrium was thrown so askew when the distant stars decided to show up, it seemed almost inappropriate given his current situation. They showed themselves slowly, seeming to infect the sky like a cancerous growth. There weren't too many at first, but then all at once it was as if he could see the entire universe before his eyes.  
The boy liked to find the stars represented in things that he loved the most in this world. He liked to seek out all the places that he could find the stars in his own life, night sky not included, most recent being in his love interest. He saw the North Star the most in his counterpart, and he has for as long as he had known the other man. It was as if no matter how fucked up things got for Dan all he had to do was look into the older boys' eyes and suddenly he was home. He saw many constellations on the boy especially when they laid together, he could trace the Big Dipper almost exactly on Phil's shoulder. The marks and freckles even created a prominent Orion's Belt, which added to the realism of the formation. The simple fact that Dan could see this constellation, that often represents love, so clearly and permanently fixed on Phil made him embarrassingly giddy. Other times he could make out hints of the constellation Taurus in the boy, this mostly happened when he was holding his ground, being hardheaded, and not giving into Dan's antics. He could even see a sign of the Hunter constellation during their rare moments of shared innocent intimacy. It was as if the boy, who was so in love with space, was meant to see all of these things in the man he loved. He once shared this knowledge with Phil and they spent the rest of the night searching Dan for any signs of a constellation, it didn't take long for Phil to excitedly find Ursa Major on the boys shoulder, thus earning him the pet name of Little Bear. This brought him a sense of relief, being able to find something so comforting in the person that he was most comfortable with.   
Before Dan had met the boy, with stars for eyes and freckle constellations, he was stuck. He had no direction or motivation. He was a lost boy afloat at sea until he found a helping hand and a guiding light. Nonetheless, Dan craved more, and this was what found him seated on the roof looking at the sky that had just lit up with an unfathomable number of stars that were eons away. Recently Dan had become restless and uncomfortable with him and Phil's mundane, yet admittedly strange, platonic relationship. This set up was just no longer fulfilling enough for the boy. Of course, he absolutely adored the half-assed 'platonic' spooning, but there was nothing that he wanted more in this world than to be able to pepper kisses all over the others back and to leave marks wherever he pleased. Dan loved their messy middle of the week movie nights that almost always ended in a pillow fort poorly constructed somewhere in their cramped flat, but if he had it his way it would end with tangled legs and sloppy make out sessions that stretched on for far too long. He looked forward to their morning routine of cereal and anime but he thought it would be much better if it started off with a shared shower filled with endless giggles and toothpaste kisses.  
Even though the massive balls of gas were so far away he liked to think that they still showed up in the sky to listen to whatever he had to say, no matter how trivial or minuscule the topic the stars never judged and they always listened. When he first made his way to the roof he was disappointed to see that the sky was lacking his makeshift therapists, and was surprised when they ended up filling in every available space in the void above him. Was this all a metaphor for the situation that the boy found himself in? Was the answer to his situation to just sit back, clear his mind, and really look?  
Dan was lost after what he is so affectionately calling 'The Incident'. See Dan was like a black hole when it came to Phil, he simply absorbed whatever the other boy sent his way without a second thought; starting a YouTube channel? Dan turned on the camera. Living together? Dan signed the lease at light speed. Phil let it slip that he enjoyed Dan's hair naturally? He suddenly couldn't be bothered to straighten it on days that they were staying home together. This is one of the reasons that 'The Incident' came about when Phil came in drunk one night and demanded that they kiss right then and there, and Dan had no issue going through with it. It was as if with that one statement Phil threw the entire Milky Way at the black hole that was Dan, and coincidentally everything was thrown off balance. And this is why Dan is on the roof with the stars as his therapists and the moon as his friend because the morning after Phil acted as nothing had happened and seemed as though he remembered nothing. Dan knew better and could tell that something was off, because when he looked into Phil's eyes during breakfast he could no longer see the North Star that he had come to love and rely on. It was as if the older man's eyes were clouded, and he was off wandering without a clue of how to get home.  
Dan was beyond lost in thought by the time he finally noticed Phil shyly asking to join him on the cramped roof. He smiled nervously and moved over allowing the other boy ample space to sit down without the two of them having to touch at all. Once Phil sat down the silence seeped back into the air. Dan was grateful for the quiet, it allowed him to sink back into his thoughts but for once he couldn't. The boy was so fixated and confusedabout why his flatmate came to join him if he didn't plan to say anything. Whilst Dan was pondering the boys' intent he couldn't help but study him, the way he effortlessly sat in the deafening silence, the way his breath swirled in the chilly night air like nebula floating in the vastness of space, the way Dan caught Phil looking over at him then nervously turning back to the sky, the ways their knees were hardly brushing contact. Dan did all of this while absentmindedly playing with his own hands, tracing the lines on his palms, and absentmindedly popping the joints connecting his knuckles. He was immediately interrupted, both in thought and in movement, when another hand was added to the mix.  
'Hey,' Phil finally said, breathing out yet another nebula, 'please calm down. We need to talk but let's look at the stars while we do, I know you absolutely adore them, space boy.' Phil smiled at the end of his sentence and took Dan's hand and automatically interlaced their fingers. And it was in this moment that Dan saw the North Star back in its rightful place.

**Author's Note:**

> twitter.com/crybabyhowell  
> spacegayjpg.tumblr.com  
> thanks for reading,


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